My Journey into Silence: A 10-Day Vipassana Retreat

From June 4th to 15th, I’ll be offline. No messages, no emails, no yoga classes, and no sessions. Just silence, stillness, and surrender. I’m going on a 10-day Vipassana retreat. This meditation tradition is rooted in the teachings of the Buddha and passed down through S.N. Goenka. It’s a path that hundreds of thousands around the world have walked before me.

This retreat isn't a holiday. It's not just a digital detox—though that is part of it. I wanted to share this journey with you. I hope to reassure those I work with that I haven’t vanished into the ether.

Why I'm Taking This Journey

For me, this will be the first time in my life without responsibility. There will be no decisions to make, no space to hold for others—just a set routine designed by someone else. That feels radical to me.

What is Vipassana?

Vipassana means “insight” or “seeing things as they really are.” This method is not about mantras or visualizations. Instead, you sit and observe. You work with your breath, sensations, and thoughts. Over ten days, distractions will be gently stripped away. This means no phones, no books, no journaling, no eye contact, and no speaking. You simply sit with whatever arises.

It sounds easy, but it's not. This specific practice, in the tradition of Goenka, is both precise and structured. Each day unfolds in the same way. You wake up at 4 AM, meditate for up to 10 hours, eat light meals, and follow a strict code of silence. Gradually, you train your mind to observe reality without reacting.

Why Now?

I’ve built my life around service—supporting others through yoga, coaching, bodywork, and recovery work. I’ve been on a journey from viewing everything I do and everyone around me as my sole responsibility. This mindset can be exhausting. It’s not fun. I’m striving for a space more rooted in truth and reality. I may understand this conceptually, but the emotional experience takes time. It’s about surrender, not effort.

This retreat isn’t aimed at self-improvement. Instead, it’s about self-acceptance and self-compassion. It’s about sitting with what is. I’ll work through physical discomfort, mental agitation, and the discomfort of not distracting myself. There’s no escape, but there is a path.

The Right Timing

The timing feels right for me. As someone in long-term recovery from alcoholism, overwork, and the delusion of “not enough,” this retreat presents an opportunity. It’s a chance to go deeper, not to fix anything, but to see it all more clearly.

Some Truths I’m Carrying In

In the past, I could spend 10 hours a day doing things I now look back on with embarrassment. Hustling, hiding, escaping, performing—pushing my body and mind beyond what was kind. So, the idea of spending 10 hours a day simply sitting with myself? In many ways, this is the most courageous thing I’ve ever done.

I don’t expect blissfulness during this retreat. Instead, I anticipate pain, pins and needles, boredom, resistance, and even tears. My goal is to take it hour by hour, session by session. That’s one of the strategies recovery has taught me: don’t try to get through everything at once. Focus on being present for the next minute, the next hour, and the next sitting.

And I remind myself of this truth: millions have done this before me. Many have found peace, healing, and clarity. I may not achieve those outcomes, but I’ll show up and see what unfolds.

What This Means for You

I’m letting go of my responsibilities for 10 days. This time is for me to reconnect with the roots of what makes space-holding meaningful. For those who work with me, practice with me, or follow my work—thank you for your patience while I go inward for a while.

In the meantime:

• You can still book sessions for when I return via my website.

• If you have questions about Vipassana or your own practice, feel free to message me. I’ll respond once I’m back.

• And if you’ve been feeling the pull toward stillness, structure, or sacred silence—consider this your gentle nudge.

  
  

Remembering the Importance of Stillness

Beneath all our doing, there’s something deeper waiting to be heard. Sometimes, the bravest action we can take is to quiet ourselves enough to listen. I look forward to sharing my experience with you upon my return.

See you on the other side.

With love and steadiness,

Ed